How are You BEING Today?

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Mary J. Lore How are You BEING Today?As I reflected on the recent Labor Day holiday, I realized that we have become a nation of laborers.

We love to labor. We are busy, busy, busy, doing, doing, doing.

When we face a big challenge or a difficult situation, we labor. We cancel vacation, skip lunch, work through the weekend, and stay late to fix the problem, put out the fire, accomplish the result.

To succeed, we labor. We struggle, strive, do whatever it takes. We put in the hours, persevere, expend blood, sweat, and tears-no pain no gain!

Our heads are filled with what we need to, have to, should, and must do. We do things to force ourselves to get motivated. We even go into labor when we are giving birth to our children!

In my Managing Thought® workshops on Inspired Leadership, I ask everyone to think of the best and worst leaders they have ever worked with and what about these leaders made them the best and worst.

The big aha! is that nothing on these lists is about doing. It’s all about being:

Being of service.
Being honest, sincere, humble, trusting, consistent.
Being thoughtful, caring, compassionate.
Being thankful, appreciative, giving, and forgiving.
Being open, receptive, adaptable, curious.
Being a teacher and a continuous learner.
Being energetic, optimistic, fun.
Being on purpose, intentional, inspired, and inspiring.

It’s about BEING a leader.

As a nation, we tend to do in order to become. We have practiced and mastered believing that doing, motivating, forcing – laboring – brings results. It doesn’t. It brings linear, less than 10%, kind of changes, short-term results. And we find ourselves stressed, ill, unhappy, and uninspired.

Being brings step-function changes, profound change, significant and long-term results. And we find ourselves happy, healthy, and energized.

When we are being, we focus on being who we are and what we truly wish to create in any moment. The ideas on how to BE and what we could create naturally follow, naturally flow. Our channels are open, our minds are clear, and remarkable things start to happen.

We start being our highest vision of ourselves. We notice the difference we are making. Our work becomes effortless and we become energized because our decisions and actions are inspired.

Many of us do in order to become – at some time in the future.

When I am being, I am being what I am becoming-right now. I AM my highest vision, I AM inspired, I AM whatever I am choosing to become  right NOW-in this moment and in this moment and in this moment.

Stuff happens all day long. In every moment I have the opportunity to BE what I am becoming.No matter what has happened or is happening. I have the power to pause, take a breath, and wonder how I could BE a leader right now, BE a parent, BE a friend, BE of service, BE thankful, BE happy, BE healthy, BE the change I wish to see in the world…BE whatever I choose to BE.

I invite you to notice when you are operating from a love of labor-when you are busy doing, in a state of fear and force, trying to motivate yourself or others, in the need to/have to/must mode.

Change it to a labor of love and inspiration. Take a breath (perhaps several breaths) and wonder:

  • How can I BE my highest vision right now?
  • What can I create from this?
  • How could I be of highest service right now?
  • How could I help?
  • How could I demonstrate love and ignite inspiration?

Then take some time to be quiet. Take a walk, get some fresh air, exercise, do what you enjoy and WONDER.

We all have the ability to wonder and get our answers.

What’s your M.O.? Love of labor or labor of love? Being or Doing?

How are you BEING today?

© 2014 Mary J. Lore and Managing Thought LLC All rights reserved.

Guest Blogger Kris Taylor Asks: What Word Should (Might) You Want to Remove from Your Vocabulary?

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No ShouldingToday’s guest blogger is Kris Taylor, the founder of Evergreen Leadership. Kris is a respected colleague and friend with a proven track record of promoting, leading, and implementing positive change.

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I had the opportunity to meet a brilliant young man this week. His list of accomplishments was long, his skill-set was broad, and his impact on others was positive and deep. Yet it was clear that he was struggling with a bad case of the “shoulds” – and the second-guessing that came with it. He should have gone to college sooner, should have had a better idea of where he was headed, should have stuck with his business venture longer, should be in a better job…

We all carry around some “shoulds” – both past and present. The list of past ”shoulds” is long and may include: I should have gone to different school, followed a different major, pursued a different career, tried harder, risked more, married differently, taken that opportunity, stayed with it longer.  And we all have an equally long list of present ”shoulds”.  They might include: I should make more money, have a better house, be a better boss, be a better parent, spend more time at work, spend more time at home, go back to school, exercise more, eat less, be kinder, make more money, work harder, relax more.

I’d like to suggest that you banish the word should (and even need to) from your vocabulary. The words connote an obligation or duty, rather than a choice or free will. “I should get a new job.” is heavy and onerous,  and conveys inaction and guilt. The “shoulds” wear us out – make our load heavy. Our past “shoulds” have us looking in the rear view mirror and beating ourselves up for missed opportunities or perceived missteps. Our future “shoulds” burden us with obligations that may or may not serve us well.

Contrast the thought “I should get a new job.” to these:

  • “I am choosing to stick with this job for the next year.”
  • “I am committed to making the best of this job, even if it is not where I want to be forever.”
  •  “It’s time for me to find a job that is a fit for me.”
  • “I wonder what steps I might take to find a job that is a fit for me.”
  • “I am curious about what I would like in a different job.”

Mary Lore, whose work on Managing Thought inspires me, provides a list of substitute words – that are accountable, freeing and focused. Instead of using the words need to, have to or should – try these substitutes:

  • I am choosing…
  • I am committed to…
  • It’s important to me that I…
  • I could…
  • Based on where I was, I chose to… Today, I am choosing…
  • I wonder how I can…
  • It could be great if…

When I began to substitute these words for my “shoulds” – there was a little jolt. This was followed by a sense of freedom – and letting go of some guilt and pressure I put on myself. I began to forgive myself and let go of past decisions and actions – and make conscious choices in the present. And I began to own the choices I was making – and make them with intention based on what I really wanted, rather than an amorphous obligation weighing on me from some other source.

So see if you can shed some “shoulds” and see what happens.

© 2014 Mary J. Lore and Managing Thought LLC All rights reserved.

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Kris Taylor has brought together her keen insights about organizations, change and leadership to create Evergreen Leadership.  Over the past 9 years, hundreds of leaders from 50 companies across the country have worked with Kris and her talented associates for help in successfully implementing large scale, mission critical change initiatives. Evergreen Leadership reflects Kris’s signature talent of creating high impact learning programs where leaders emerge with deep insights about their own personal leadership and learn how to lead others in today’s fast paced and uncertain environment.

Replacing Weak Thought Patterns with Powerful Thought Patterns

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Replacing Weak Thought Patterns Mary LoreWe shape our thoughts by choosing our intentions, asking ourselves powerful questions, and making powerful statements to ourselves. We also shape our thoughts by replacing weak thought patterns with powerful thought patterns.

In my book, Managing Thought: Think Differently. Think Powerfully. Achieve New Levels of Success., I refer to the book Power vs. Force by David R. Hawkins, MD, Ph.D. I mention that the energy of a thought can be measured and that “the difference in power between a loving thought and a fearful thought is so enormous as to be beyond the capacity of the human imagination to easily comprehend.”

When I first read this, I was taken aback. I experienced an incredible aha! Until that moment, I approached my work and my own self-cultivation by looking for what was wrong and then working on making it right.

Another big aha! for me was learning that what I considered to be less virtuous bad thoughts were neither good nor bad. They were merely a function of viewpoint, which is the accumulation of my thought patterns.

The biggest aha! for me was the realization that by lifting my thoughts higher and higher each day, I make a difference.

The current theme of my Daily Inspiration Thoughts of the Day is Replacing Weak Thought Patterns with Powerful Thought Patterns. There are three posts a day offering guidance on choosing and focusing on powerful thoughts vs. weak thoughts. Follow or visit Managing Thought on Twitter to receive them as they post or come back to this blog daily and view the Daily Inspiration on Twitter feed in the right-hand menu bar.

For additional practical guidance on powerful and weak thought patterns, check out Chapter 15 of Managing Thought or David Hawkins, MD, Ph.D’s book  Power vs. Force.

© 2011 Mary J. Lore and Managing Thought LLC All rights reserved.

Making Powerful Statements

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Making Powerful StatementsOur brains look for, and focus on, things that are consistent with our experience. In other words, our brains perceive a reality that is consistent with our past experience. Then it stores this reality and inevitably reinforces the experience.

Even though that’s how our brains work, we are in control. We are in control of our thoughts. We are in control of our focus. We are in control of our minds. We are the ones observing our thoughts and we have the ability to choose to utilize or discard what our brains present to us. We have the ability to our shape our thoughts.

We shape our thoughts by choosing our intentions, by asking ourselves powerful questions, and by making powerful statements to our selves.  Powerful statements are those that remind us of how we choose to think. Powerful statements keep us focused on the moment and  remind us of our intentions and what truly matters to us. As we go about our day and experience what others do and say, we can consciously, purposefully, make powerful statements to ourselves that remind us of how we choose to think, feel, act, or react.  We don’t waste time, money and energy thinking and acting in a way that moves us away from what truly serves our purpose.

We can have powerful statements ready for those moments when we are challenged by old thought patterns.

The current theme of my Daily Inspiration Thoughts of the Day is Making Powerful Statements. There are three posts a day offering guidance on how to turn what is significant to you to reality by making powerful statements. Follow or visit Managing Thought on Twitter to receive them as they post or come back to this blog daily and view the Daily Inspiration on Twitter feed in the right-hand menu bar.

For additional practical guidance on making powerful statements, check out Chapter 14 of Managing Thought.

© 2011 Mary J. Lore and Managing Thought LLC All rights reserved.

What is the Future You Are Creating?

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What Future Are You CreatingI hear the news that Osama bin Laden is dead. What do I think? What do I say? What do I do?

If I truly want to be the grandest vision of myself, if I truly want peace in this world, this is the opportunity for me to practice self-awareness, see who I really am, and decide who I intend to be.

Every event is an opportunity for us to remind ourselves of who we truly are as a person, a friend, a parent, a family, a teacher, a leader, an organization, a community, and a nation.

Rather than label or judge a situation or a person as bad or good, we can decide who we are with regard to it and choose the experience we wish to create from it.

I may think I am a victim. I am not a victim. I am a creator.

I may think I can judge, even condemn. I am not a judge. I am a creator.

I create.

Every circumstance is an opportunity for me to create who I am and intend to be and what I want to experience in this world.

Everything I say, do and create in this world first begins in thought. What I think about, I create. What we think about collectively, we create. What we focus on becomes our reality.

Every thought is rooted in love or fear.

As I hear and process the news of the death of Osama bin Laden, do I choose to re-act thoughts rooted in fear? Or do I choose thoughts rooted in love?

I choose love. I choose peace.

So I ask myself:

  • What can I say or do right now for the greater good?
  • How can I make a difference in this moment?
  • How can I be of highest and best service in this moment?

What we do in times of difficulty can be our greatest success. For the experience we create is a declaration of who we are and who we intend to be.

Confucius said, “To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life…”

How are you being in relation to the news of the day? What is the future you are creating?

© 2011 Mary J. Lore and Managing Thought LLC All rights reserved.

Choosing Our Intentions is One of the Greatest Powers We Possess

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As I talk about in my Managing Thought workshops, what we feel and what we experience depends on what we choose to focus.  We have the ability to choose our focus and ultimately our reality. We choose our focus by choosing our intentions.

During difficult times or when we’re in a low period, our brains can present thoughts to us that may not be useful. When we practice self-awareness, even in difficult times, we can see our thoughts for what they are—thoughts. We know that we are the observer of these thoughts and we can choose whether to utilize these thoughts or not. We can choose our intentions.

The current theme of my Daily Inspiration Thoughts of the Day is Choosing Our Intentions. There are three posts a day offering guidance on how to transform negative thinking and focus on what you want to achieve significant results. Follow or visit Managing Thought on Twitter to receive them as they post or come back to this blog daily and view the Daily Inspiration on Twitter feed in the right-hand menu bar.

If you want more on choosing intentions, click here to listen to audio, download a PDF or read online.

© 2011 Mary J. Lore and Managing Thought LLC All rights reserved.

The Do-Over is an Amazing Managing Thought Tool

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I call the Do-Over the Amazing Managing Thought tool. Because Self-awareness takes practice. True happiness takes practice. It is a constant awareness of our thoughts, feelings, and choices. Telling ourselves that we need to think more positively or be happy doesn’t do anything. And criticizing ourselves for thinking “bad” thoughts doesn’t work either. It is practice that makes permanent. It’s practicing noticing our thoughts and feelings and, if they are not in alignment with who we truly are, taking a breath (focusing on the exhale), adding light, and choosing thoughts that move us in a direction that serves our purpose. Remember, our brains are fast—very fast. And we want them to be fast. So there’s no reason to be surprised when our brains continue to quickly deliver to us old, habitual thoughts (followed quickly by our mouths!) That’s what the do-over is for—to give our brains a script and practice the script to re-wire our neural nets. It’s like learning to ride a bike, play tennis, or golf! With practice, our new way of thinking and being becomes natural for us.

My next series of daily inspiration thoughts of the day on are focused on do-overs and making slow gradual changes that are lasting.

Visit or follow Managing Thought on Twitter to receive the Do-Over Daily Inspiration Thoughts of the Day (three a day) as they post or read the Daily Inspiration on Twitter feed in the right menu of this blog.

© 2011 Mary J. Lore and Managing Thought LLC All rights reserved.

Break Old Familiar Patterns How? With a Do-Over!

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Old Thought PatternsHave you noticed that as you move into the holiday season, old, familiar patterns emerge? When you get together with family and friends, do you revert to the same old thoughts and ways of being? Perhaps you feel sad at the holidays, or maybe you get sick or worry about money. There’s a reason we have the same experiences over and over, and with a little self-awareness, self-mastery, and being on-purpose, we can break those patterns.

First, it’s helpful to remember that our brains are tools, just as computers are tools. Their job is to take in information, process it, and store it into the compartments they have devised. When something happens, practically instantaneously, they jump into action, searching through the compartments and delivering to us what they have retrieved, saying — Hey! The last time something that kind of goes into this compartment happened, this is what you thought and this is what you felt. Here you go!

Without self-awareness, we assume that this IS what we are thinking and feeling in that  moment — and it’s not. It’s the thoughts, and the feelings that go along with them–from the past–that our brains are delivering to us.  When we’re not aware, we take on these thoughts and feelings and run with them–thinking, saying and doing whatever we did in the past. Hence the old familiar patterns.

There’s more! Our brains are constantly at the ready to focus on something. They focus on what we tell it to or they focus on whatever they’ve stored or practiced the most. The expectations, beliefs, and conclusions we’ve drawn from past experiences all create our focus and without self-awareness, what our brains focus on is what we see.  So if I expect someone to be rude, then my brain does its job and searches for them being rude. It will not notice them being kind because that isn’t the instruction. And when my brain spots them being rude, it then delivers to me all the thoughts and feelings I have stored from the past when that person was rude. Hence the old familiar patterns.

The good news is we can choose and direct the focus of our brains, and completely change what we feel and experience. When we notice an old pattern emerging, we can add a pause, take a deep breath, focusing on the exhale, thank our brains for sharing, and choose our next thoughts–a thought of thankfulness or compassion. Or a thought that brings us peace or purpose. The thoughts I like to practice in these moments are “How can I demonstrate love in this moment?” and “What can I say or do right now for the greater good?”  The rule I follow before I open my mouth is — Is it true? Is it necessary? And is it kind?

Is this easy to do? No!!!!! It’s hard to beat instantaneous! It’s hard to change thoughts we’ve practiced for years and become quite good at.  We can do it. It takes practice and the amazing Managing Thought® tool — the Do-Over!  (Or if you’re a golfer — the Mulligan! ) It takes practice and lots of Do-Overs!

If you can do Do-Overs in heat of the moment, that’s great! If not, go back later and do the do-over. If that’s too uncomfortable, do it alone, out loud, so your brain gets the practice. Just like learning to ride a bike or read, it’s practice that makes permanent.

What are your old patterns? What’s your focus? What intentions could you choose for the holidays? What powerful thoughts could you have ready for those moments when you’re challenged by old patterns? How can you make it fun?

©2010 Managing Thought. All rights reserved.