It’s a Wonderful World

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Over the Rainbow It's a Wonderful WorldIt’s been 8 years today, September 18th, since my late husband Gregg and I married. At the GOMF French Meadows Summer Camp in 2003, Gregg and I sang the first song we ever sang together–Over the Rainbow/What’s a Wonderful World. It became our song, with Gregg singing the lead and me harmonizing, and we sang it at our wedding two years later. Here’s the video of that special moment for me at Camp two months ago when I could finally sing the song by myself without crying. The clouds are indeed far behind me. Jason King of Portland Oregon is playing the ukelele. We’re at the campfire. Happy Anniversary, Gregg. I am so glad our paths crossed.

© 2013 Mary J. Lore and Managing Thought LLC All rights reserved.

Where Did That Thought Come From?

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What-was-I-thinking-Mary-LoreAs I boarded the plane, the gate agent said to me: You have to check your bag. I said: This is my purse and my brief case! She said: Then you have to check your briefcase. If you have a computer in it, take it out!  I took it out and said to her: I can’t believe you’re making me check my briefcase!

On the way to my seat, I told each flight attendant I met: She made me check my briefcase!

I opened the overhead bin and discovered room enough for both my bag and my briefcase! I showed the attendant and asked if I could get my briefcase, knowing full well that it was too late. As I seated myself, I said several more times: I can’t believe she made me check my briefcase. I then told the guy next to me, I have two million miles with this airline, I booked my ticket a month and a half in advance, I get a middle seat AND they made me check my briefcase! I’m seriously thinking about switching to another airline.

I wasn’t screaming. I didn’t even raise my voice. My heart wasn’t racing. My chest wasn’t pounding. In fact, I felt fine. The flight attendants and gate agent were all gracious and reassuring. I had full faith my briefcase was going to be just fine.  I was even thankful I didn’t have to lift it into the overhead bin.

I was also aware that many times before, when agents asked me to check my briefcase, I just smiled and said, I’ve flown two million miles with you guys, I guarantee, I can find room for it. They always obliged.

This time, it was as if I was just going through the motions. I wasn’t really in fight, flight or freeze, yet my brain kept delivering to me the victim thought I can’t believe they made me check my briefcase! And I went along with it  – at least for a couple minutes! :-)

So what was my brain doing giving me these thoughts? Answer: It was doing its job. My brain’s job is to follow my lead, helping me to create whatever I want. It brings to me thoughts and emotions I had in the past that are stored in compartments that my brain believes are circumstances similar today’s circumstances.

If I act on what my brain delivers to me, then I am no longer creating. I am reacting – re-acting past experiences.….which brings me back to the story.

My brain knows my feelings were hurt when this airline “lost” one million of my two million miles and with other policy changes, I didn’t feel valued or special any more. It knows I was considering not making this airline my primary carrier, that I took a few flights with another airline and really enjoyed the entire experience.

My brain, bless its heart, finds these circumstances similar to those in compartments I formed in my teens! My brain thinks I am “breaking up” with my long-time preferred airline! To “help” me make that a reality, my brain delivers to me the thoughts and emotions from way back then  – Point out everything that’s wrong with the airline, maybe start a fight, to justify breaking up and going with another carrier! LOL!

I consider myself pretty practiced in Managing Thought®. Had I not been so exhausted, those slides would not have made into my ViewMaster® and certainly not crossed my lips.

Do I criticize myself? No! I thank my brain for sharing! Chuckle at myself. I’m thankful that I’m aware of my thoughts and that I can choose the thoughts I want to rule my world. I acknowledge I am exhausted and I make rejuvenation a priority. I state my intention, my highest vision of myself, in bringing this relationship, any relationship, to a graceful conclusion which gives my brain a new slide to put in my ViewMaster. :-)  I thank the guy next to me for hearing me vent, smile at the flight attendants, put my tray table up and sit back and enjoy the flight.

What’s in your ViewMaster®?

© 2011 Mary J. Lore and Managing Thought LLC All rights reserved.

What Was I Thinking?

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What-was-I-thinking-Mary-LoreI made a post the other day on Facebook, which prompted a number of people to ask me what went through my head. As the “queen of” (lol) looking AT my thoughts, I thought I’d share what transpired between me and my brain during the course of just ten minutes.

To give it context, here’s my Facebook post:

OMG! My flight is boarding at the farthest gate. I go to the Delta club to get hot water & discover I don’t have my wallet! I run all the way back to my car, find my wallet, run back to the club, fill my thermos & make it to the gate just as they were closing the door! Thanks to the Delta Club women who let me keep my luggage at the club, to those who let me go b4 them at security, & to P90X cause the run was effortless!

So. what was I thinking?

My Brain: I have looked everywhere. I do not have my wallet. Oh my God!, Where’s my wallet! I don’t have my wallet! I need my wallet! I have no way to pay for my expenses!

Me: How can I manage without my wallet?

My Brain: My license is required to get the rental car.

Me: I wonder when the next flight is.

My Brain: Ask!

Me to ladies: When is the next flight?

The ladies: Not till tonight – 5:50pm.

My Brain: It’s a 3-hour flight. I have dinner with the chair and his wife.

Me:  I could cancel the dinner. (That didn’t feel right.) I want to go to the dinner. I wonder where my wallet is.

My Brain: I used it to use the new parking lot feature. It’s a new process. I don’t remember putting it back in my purse. I remember putting it in my lap. The last times I put things in my lap they fell on the ground or under the seat. On the ground! Someone could take it. What am I gonna do without my wallet?

Me: (Calmly and lovingly) Everything always works out fine.

My Brain: Yes! That time when I dropped my purse in the parking structure someone turned it in to the Delta counter and they tracked me down and got me my purse just in time for the flight. That was amazing! And then there were all the times the plane was delayed – something good always happened. I met a great contact. I got most of my book written because of flight delays!

Me to the ladies:  Is the flight on time?

The ladies: It’s boarding! You have to go back to the parking structure?  You’re NEVER gonna make it.

Me: How can I  get there and back the quickest?

My Brain: Without the briefcase I can run up and down the escalator to the tram and go quickly thru security.

Me to the ladies: May I put the briefcase  in the closet? I can go thru security quickly.

The ladies:  No we can’t do that. It’s not our policy.

Me to the ladies:   I know. I am asking you to trust me. How much time do I have?

The ladies: Ten minutes until the door closes.

Me to the ladies: Let’s give it a shot! I put the briefcase in the closet and ran out the door. I arrived at the tram just as the doors were closing.

Me: I am thankful I have the gumption to run thru the closing doors. I am thankful I can run and react quickly. I am thankful I left my briefcase in the closet. I am thankful I had the ability to help the Delta ladies go from “You’re never gonna make it!” to “Let’s give it a try!” and I am thankful they let me put the briefcase in the closet.

My Brain: Another adventure at the airport! Remember the time when I looked at my boarding pass wrong and I thought the departure time was the boarding time and had only fifteen minutes to get from the parking structure to the plane and I made the flight! And there was the time I missed the flight and I sat at the gate and the plane pulled back in for a technical difficulty and they let me on the plane!

My Brain: When I stand here, I am first out of the tram and first down the escalator.

Me:  I am thankful I know how to position myself so I am first out of the tram and down the escalator. I am thankful I chose these shoes for today! I am thankful that someone is already standing at the elevator and they already pressed the down button. I am thankful that my floor is first.

My Brain: I parked by the divider. If my wallet fell, no one else would have seen it. There’s no wallet on the ground. If it’s not in the car, go to Delta baggage check in first. That’s right off the elevator.  That’s the easiest place for someone to turn it in.

Me: I am thankful I assumed someone would find it and turn it in. In the old days, I would have assumed someone would steal it!

My Brain: Check around the seat. No wallet. Check the console. That’s where I put everything!

Me and My Brain: Yeah! Wallet found!

My Brain: Remember to lock the car! Remember this new parking process! Remember to put my credit card back in my wallet and my wallet back in my purse.

Me: I like the new process. No ticket to concern myself with. Here we go!

My Brain: Do we have enough time? Oh right – Don’t concern myself time.  Time expands when I stay present.

Me: Yes! Let’s glide through this! Quickly, smoothly, gracefully!

My Brain: Yes that has always worked in the past.

Me: I am thankful, the Monday morning priority line to security has shortened. I wonder how I can get thru security quickly.

My Brain: Ask folks if I can go to the front. People always want to help when I ask.

Me to man at the very front : May I go in front of you?

Man: Sure.

Me to man: Thank you!

My Brain: Wow! I didn’t even have to tell him I was late. He just trusted me.

Me: I am thankful that I am trust worthy.I get thru security quickly. I run up the escalator. The tram is right there! I am thankful I left my briefcase in the closet. I am thankful I had the ability to help the Delta ladies go from “You’re never gonna make it!” to “Let’s give it a try!” and I am thankful they let me put the briefcase in the closet.

Me: I reflect on the significance of vision and purpose, focusing on what I want, not what I don’t want.

My Brain: What if I miss the flight?!

Me: Everything always turns out all right.

My Brain: Remember the time when my parents and I missed the flight to get to Colorado for my wedding rehearsal dinner. We spent the day at the airport having a nice dinner, nice conversation. It was relaxing and a wonderful day. They routed us through Indianapolis! Maybe there’s a flight to Fort Lauderdale.

Me: (I’m smiling) Another adventure. Another story!

My Brain: When I stand here, I am first out of the tram and closest to the club. The reason I went to the club was to get hot water for the thermos. If  I hadn’t gone to the club, I wouldn’t have known I didn’t have my wallet.

I enter the club.

The ladies: You made it! I can’t believe it. You don’t have time. Get to the gate!

My Brain: It only takes a second to get hot water. The hot water on the plane tastes like chemicals. They have bottled water on the plane. That’s at the back of the club.

I get the hot water. I thank the ladies! We run out the door and down the escalator. I hear the announcement: Last call for the flight!

My Brain: A78 is the very last gate! I might not make it! It’s not possible! These shoes are not working! I want to walk. If I walk, I won’t make it. Oh well I did my best.

Me: That doesn’t feel right. Those are victim thoughts!

My Brain: Wait! This is that big moment when most people decide to give up. That happens in sports, that point of decision. It’s a shame, most people give up right before they succeed.

Me: Let’s see how we can succeed.

We round the corner and can see the gate. The agent asks: Mary Lore? I say yes!

Me and My Brain on the jetway: We did it!

My brain: I’m thirsty. We didn’t get water at the club.

Me to the flight attendant: Do you have any extra of those little water bottles? I am so thirsty.

Flight attendant: Here, take two!

I take my aisle exit row seat. I slide my briefcase under the empty seat next to me.

Me: I am thankful for the seat, for the empty seat next to me, for the water, for everyone and everything that contributed to me making the flight.

I look at my phone. All that happened in 10 minutes. I am amazed! I celebrate all that I accomplished in ten minutes.

I notice I am not out of breath! I celebrate my physical fitness. Way to go P90X!

I realize that I glided easily and effortlessly, gracefully and joyfully, the entire time. I acknowledge how far I’ve come.

I am thankful for all I am, all I have, all of my blessings.

My brain stores this in its Anything is Possible, Being Fully Present and Airport Stories compartments.

I sit back and enjoy the flight.

And that’s what I was thinking. :)

© 2011 Mary J. Lore and Managing Thought LLC All rights reserved.

The Power to Choose Significance

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Mary Lore and Gregg Simmons 9-18-2005On September 18, 2002, I was in Taos, New Mexico for a week-end retreat. At the time, I was in the process of dramatically changing my line of work, transitioning from the world of finance and crisis management to the world of Managing Thought®. I had never been to a retreat before and the only reason I went was to meet Taoist Master Ni Hua-Ching. He had fully dedicated himself to help people raise their consciousness and bring about a better world and I wanted to learn first-hand how he had constructed this life for himself.

As it turns out, Master Ni didn’t show. He returned to China and put the retreat in the hands of his two sons. My first thoughts and emotions were of disappointment. I wanted to speak with Master Ni. Only Master Ni could make this retreat worthwhile for me!

I quickly recovered and with full faith that something valuable and meaningful could be gained, I wondered what it could be. I went to breakfast, sat down and looked across the table into the eyes of an amazing man who I married three years later, on September 18, 2005 – Gregg Simmons.

During our time together, I gained so much.

  • He helped me expand my capacity to love deeply, laugh heartily and live life fully.
  • He saw the love and light in me, held up the mirror so I could see it too, and he encouraged me to share this light with others.
  • He introduced me to his friends who are now my friends.
  • When he died suddenly just three months after our wedding, friends and family said it was a shame that our time together was so short. Because we were so in the moment in each of our moments, it felt like we were together forever. He helped me experience the true power of being in the moment.

As I reflect on this, I find a valuable and meaningful lesson.

On the surface, it seems that September 18th is a day of great significance for me.

To me, the real significance is in the moment, in the choices I made when I learned that I wouldn’t be meeting Master Ni. In that moment, I could have chosen to remain disappointed or get angry, leave the retreat or skip breakfast. I could have been so caught up in my emotions that I didn’t notice Gregg, or listen to him, or caused him to be disinterested in me.

Because I chose to wonder how I could gain something valuable and meaningful from the retreat to help me be of service to the world, I met the man who helped me to do just that.

I have the opportunity for significance all day long every day. As “stuff” happens, I always have the opportunity to choose who I wish to become and what I wish to create in this world.

I have the power to choose significance.

How can you choose significance today?

For more on this, read or listen to the Forward Thinking™ Reminder, Choosing Intentions.

P.S.  Gregg Simmons, it is my honor and joy to have been your best friend, lover, confidante, teacher, student and fellow adventurer.  Thank you for introducing me to carrot cake. I am enjoying a piece as I write this and I raise my plate to you!

© 2011 Mary J. Lore and Managing Thought LLC All rights reserved.

Focus on the Now

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In my Managing Thought book and workshop DVD I talk about how there is no such thing as the future, that the future is an illusion. What we do have is a NOW followed by a NOW followed by a whole lot of NOWs. We do not suddenly become bankrupt. We have a series of bankrupt NOW moments. We do not suddenly become a great leader or a great parent or healthy. We have a series of great leader or great parent or healthy NOW moments. And it’s the same with accomplishing a goal. It doesn’t suddenly happen. Goals are fulfilled when we have achieved a critical mass of NOW moments that are in alignment with our vision.

Asking powerful questions in a proactive rather than a reactive way and focusing on the NOW brings about a state of wonder and generates ideas and possibilities for this NOW moment. In the words of Tennessee R. Harris – It’s not the answers that show us the way, but the questions.

The current theme of my Daily Inspiration Thoughts of the Day is Focus on the Now. There are three posts a day offering guidance on how to focus on the NOW to achieve significant results in work and in life. Follow or visit Managing Thought on Twitter to receive them as they post or come back to this blog daily and view the Daily Inspiration on Twitter feed in the right-hand menu bar.

© 2011 Mary J. Lore and Managing Thought LLC All rights reserved.

Goals are fulfilled when we have achieved a critical mass of NOW moments that are in alignment with our vision.